Close Encounters of the Stoned Kind

My pride and joy- my 2003 MR2 Spyder

Saturday morning errands included shipping a package. A bit brisk at 45 degrees but sunny with clear skies, so I took the opportunity to drop the top on my convertible and use that.

I was pleased to find a parking space right in front of the UPS store, grabbed my package and went inside. I didn’t bother to put the top up; there’s nothing valuable in the car and I’d only be a minute. After I dropped my package off I decided to have a cigarette and enjoy the morning (Yes, I am smoking again, but I am on Chantix and have a new quit-date in the coming week.) I moved to the corner of the building and lit up. It being chilly I stuck my right hand in my pocket.

After a few minutes a fellow who was obviously impaired wandered up and stared at my car. Not unusual even for people who aren’t stoned, and I watched with casual interest. Then the fellow carefully looked left and right, but not behind him where I was standing. After determining incorrectly that the coast was clear he reached in and opened the glove box. I decided to speak up.

“Dude, I am standing right here!”

He jolted and looked around, then peered blearily at me.

“That’s my car,” I informed him.

He sized me up, noting no doubt that I was significantly larger than he was. He stuck a hand in his coat pocked and tentatively offered, “Uh, I have a knife?”

I shrugged and said, “I have a gun.”

He blinked and said, “You do not have a gun!”

I said, “I can assure you, I do.”

He peered across the twenty or so feet separating us, focusing visibly on the hand in my pocket. He thought about it for a moment and asked, “Do you really have a gun?”

I nodded and said, “Yes, I really have a gun.”

He pondered this for several seconds, then slowly withdrew his hand from his coat with the fingers splayed and stared at me a bit more. Finally he murmured, “Have a nice day.”

“You too,” I said, struggling against an unseemly display of mirth. He nodded and meandered away. I got back in my car and continued my errands. I called Linda at my next stop and told her the story. She laughed and said, “You have to post this.”

Be assured, I never displayed a firearm or was directly threatening in any manner, and never felt that I was in the least danger. The fellow’s demeanor and actions did not indicate a genuine threat, though I was prepared in case things turned sour.

Anyway, I hope that you all have a great weekend! Stay safe and take care.

Michael Tinker Pearce, 12 February 2022

3 thoughts on “Close Encounters of the Stoned Kind

  1. Carl

    The 2 posts from February 12 are top-notch and 100% cool. Kudos to you. I am constantly looking forward to the next time I can emulate your exquisite defensive tactics.

    By the way I included the duty-gun post for this one bit of wisdom:

    “This is a duty gun. It’s not for showing off for tacti-cool points. It’s not a prop in a movie that needs to look neat-o. It’s not a ‘race gun.’ It doesn’t have to be cool, it has to work. Glocks work already and the less I mess with it the more likely it is to KEEP working.”

    You get a gold star, even though the only Glock I’ve ever even touched was in about 1986 at the Pasco, WA , Safe-T-Shoot gun shop and range.


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