Saturday morning errands included shipping a package. A bit brisk at 45 degrees but sunny with clear skies, so I took the opportunity to drop the top on my convertible and use that.
I was pleased to find a parking space right in front of the UPS store, grabbed my package and went inside. I didn’t bother to put the top up; there’s nothing valuable in the car and I’d only be a minute. After I dropped my package off I decided to have a cigarette and enjoy the morning (Yes, I am smoking again, but I am on Chantix and have a new quit-date in the coming week.) I moved to the corner of the building and lit up. It being chilly I stuck my right hand in my pocket.
After a few minutes a fellow who was obviously impaired wandered up and stared at my car. Not unusual even for people who aren’t stoned, and I watched with casual interest. Then the fellow carefully looked left and right, but not behind him where I was standing. After determining incorrectly that the coast was clear he reached in and opened the glove box. I decided to speak up.
“Dude, I am standing right here!”
He jolted and looked around, then peered blearily at me.
“That’s my car,” I informed him.
He sized me up, noting no doubt that I was significantly larger than he was. He stuck a hand in his coat pocked and tentatively offered, “Uh, I have a knife?”
I shrugged and said, “I have a gun.”
He blinked and said, “You do not have a gun!”
I said, “I can assure you, I do.”
He peered across the twenty or so feet separating us, focusing visibly on the hand in my pocket. He thought about it for a moment and asked, “Do you really have a gun?”
I nodded and said, “Yes, I really have a gun.”
He pondered this for several seconds, then slowly withdrew his hand from his coat with the fingers splayed and stared at me a bit more. Finally he murmured, “Have a nice day.”
“You too,” I said, struggling against an unseemly display of mirth. He nodded and meandered away. I got back in my car and continued my errands. I called Linda at my next stop and told her the story. She laughed and said, “You have to post this.”
Be assured, I never displayed a firearm or was directly threatening in any manner, and never felt that I was in the least danger. The fellow’s demeanor and actions did not indicate a genuine threat, though I was prepared in case things turned sour.
Anyway, I hope that you all have a great weekend! Stay safe and take care.
Michael Tinker Pearce, 12 February 2022